8dp3dt - Can You See It?

Symptom watch has continued all week. It's gone kind of like this:

Ooh, here's some cramping. My boobs don't hurt at all. I feel kind of tired - I wonder if that means anything (besides that I've only been without my precious Diet Coke for about a week). A little more cramping. Nothing. Most of my pants don't fit. I've been driving myself insane!

I've been dying to POAS, but E convinced me to wait until at least this morning. As soon as I woke up, I peed, went downstairs to let the dogs out, and I came back to check the progress. This is what I saw:

It's really faint and I'm sure I didn't really capture it well with my camera, but there's a freakin' line. It's the first time I've EVER seen one. I called E into the bathroom and asked if he could see it, too. He agreed that it was light, but he could see it. He smiled. I cried. We hugged.

HOLY CRAP! I know it's early, and I'll definitely be doing it again tomorrow and again Monday before my beta, but WOW!

One More Thing

I just remembered something else crazy today. There were two all-office birth announcement e-mails today. Seriously. There should be a setting in Outlook that blocks those damn things when infertiles are in their 2WW. Yuck.

Delete!

4dp3dt

I'm officially driving myself crazy with the wait. First my boobs feel swollen and sore. Then nothing. Then they're only a little bit sore. From time to time I feel a tiny twinge, cramp, or anything in that general area and wonder if this is it. Implantation? Or just digestion?

E jokes that the "babies" must be kicking. They'll be strong. Maybe soccer players.

Either way, this was my first day back at work after the transfer and thank God I was busy. Don't get me wrong. I spent plenty of time consulting Dr. Google, but I had lots to do (seriously, more than 80 e-mails about just one project between Thursday afternoon and today) so I kept my mind off of it as much as possible.

My beta is on Monday. I think I'm going to take the day off, unless I POAS before that and get a BFP. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to make it to Monday without POAS at least twice (I know I have two tests in the house).

This is just maddening. The 2WW is EVIL. I'm trying to stay positive and do my meditations, but AGHHHH!

Bed Rest is Boring

My transfer went really well yesterday, and now I'm just hanging out, relaxing in bed. And hoping.

Dr. D called early in the morning and said that all of our embryos looked good (I don't remember the specifics). Based on my age and how they looked, she recommended transferring two, which is exactly what we wanted to do. I know there's no guarantee that three would stick if transferred, but the thought of triplets is really scary to me. A woman in my office has IUI triplets and I'm not sure how I could handle working, three newborns, managing our rentals, etc. So, anyway, whew. Two it is.

I grabbed my bottled water and we headed for the office. We checked in at 8:45 just like we were told, then the nurse mentioned that Dr. D would be there at 10. My jaw dropped. They had told me it would be 9. My bladder was so full I thought it would burst right on the table even if we went in at 9, let alone 10. The nurse said she'd go check. By 9:30, I couldn't take it anymore and called for the nurse to ask for an update and permission to relieve my bladder at least a little. It was hard to stop once the flood gates opened, but I did it. Immediately after that, the nurse came in to take us back. Crap. I took a few more chugs and we headed back.

When we got into the room, someone pointed out a stool right next to the table and said, "Dad, you can sit right here". I was totally choked up. Then Dr. D handed us a photo of all five embies and pointed out the two. Can you call embryos cute? 'Cuz they were the cutest ones I've ever seen. There was a little pressure and then they were in. That was it. I also asked Dr. D about the other three and she thought we'd be able to freeze at least two of them. Woo Hoo!

I got wheeled back to the initial room to relax for an hour. I listened to my meditation, they drew blood, we waited some more, and finally we go to head home. E took me to my acupuncture appointment, where I listened to my meditation again, we grabbed some Subway to bring home, and I planted my butt in bed.

And here I am. Still in bed. I've watched three of the five movies I rented. I've watched some crappy TV. And I'm bored. Just hangin' out, thinking sticky thoughts.

Hello ICLWers

Welcome to my little blog. Thanks for stopping by. Here's the elevator version of our story:

We've been together for almost five years and TTC for much of the last two. We've been through several unsuccessful Clomid cycles, sat out lots of months with cysts, and went for our first IUI in February. We were cancelled because of a low sperm count and found out IVF with ICSI is pretty much our only shot. After lots of testing and a surgery, we are in the midst of our IVF cycle right now. Tomorrow is transfer day.

Our life outside of IF (I know, it does exist) is filled with hectic full-time jobs, two dogs, two cats, E's work on his Ph.D., and several rental properties.

I look forward to hearing your stories.

The Fab Five

All five are still growing. The nurse didn't give me any specifics, but she did say that if they see abnormalities there is some sort of code put on the file. No code!!

I'm supposed to be at the hospital at 8:45 tomorrow with my bladder full and my Valium in hand. Dr. D will call us earlier in the morning to discuss the specifics of the embryos and make the final call on how many we'll transfer.

I'll try to write more later. Gotta get back to work so I can get out of here on time.

YAY!

Fertilized!!!

I finally got the call. All five were ICSI’d and ALL FIVE FERTILIZED!!! I’m so frickin’ excited. I couldn’t hold back the tears as the nurse told me the news. They’ll call back tomorrow with an update and final details of the transfer on Friday. Oh. My. God.

I went into the bathroom, regained at least some of my composure, and called E to give him the amazing news. Poor guy is at home cramming for the last few minutes before he has to leave for a huge board exam this afternoon. He was excited and asked me a few questions, including “Do they sometimes not fertilize?” Wow, guys are so lucky to not have the role of worrying about all of the details/process. He’s not a details guy, and I guess I do enough obsessing/worrying/researching for both us so we’ll be fine.

I came back to my desk and cried a little more. I can’t believe we’re actually here. This is the closest we’ve ever come. We didn’t know it at the time, but nothing we did any of the other times was ever going to work. And now we have five beautiful little embies that are part me and part him. It’s just so overwhelming.

Well, I better get back to work before I turn into a big, blubbering pile of goo.